Speaking Truth

Once you complete the Foundation Training, there is a lot of reading and exploring to do. Literally, there is a reading list as long as days.  I took one look at this and thought – gosh, ok… I need to get my game face on.

The truth is, once I started with the first book, I realized that everything on that list has been so well chosen.  When I read, I normally turn the corner of the page down if I find something profound, or interesting – something that I will come back to later, or open up when I am looking for inspiration. As I go through the readings I find myself turning down the corner of many a page… my books look ridiculous, puffing out of themselves.

In addition we have a gigantic manual to read through and report back on, in book report fashion.

A lot of what is written are words from Ana, interviews she has done, or articles she wants us as teachers to read.

There is one interview where she speaks about truth speaking. I learnt so many things in that one article that it invoked a lot of thought, and inspired the intention for my personal practice that day.

 

Working with this idea of speaking truth, she says that the areas associated with speaking truth are the heart space, the throat, and thought (chakras 4, 5 and 6), but unless the lower chakras are open there is no power for the truth to come out.

I worked with backbends in my practice – something I tend to avoid because it does not feel good.  It feels tight, unopened, and I tend to want to struggle through.  In otherwords… a ‘not-so-nice-place’ for me that takes a lot of courage to go to.

Instead of focusing on the back bend, I focused on my legs, on grounding myself evenly through both feet, on breathing into my lower three chakras – and feeling the awakening of the inner lines of my legs –a place that is pretty numb for me, particularly my right leg.

Every time my fear of the back bend became strong and overbearing, I brought my focus to my legs, to feeling my strength, and in a strange way this allowed me to GUTS to bring a bit more opening to my chest.

Having just read this article, to FEEL IT in my OWN BODY was like a bolt of lightening lighting up a dark sky.  The intense vulnerability felt do-able and approachable because I was planted firmly on the ground, and because I could feel myself supporting myself.

I was able to open areas in my chest that normally stay shielded – particularly when I habitually try to barge past ‘the edge’.

 

The peak pose in my practice was bridge to wheel to bridge. I normally hate wheel. I often stick to a simple bridge because wheel is too intense on my shoulders, especially my right shoulder – which feels ‘stuck’.

This time, as I planted firmly down with both my feet, particularly my right, and lit up the inner line of my legs, I could feel my lower back open and release. I could feel my right shoulder release (I had to tell it that it was ok to release here), and I felt brave and ready for wheel.

I lifted up into wheel, and my chest, for the first time in a long time, felt open. My right buttock was working seriously hard and I could feel those gluts were tiring quickly, BUT the fatigue felt ok in my body. In fact, it felt good! Like this part of my body was waking up!!!! Most amazingly, my right shoulder and chest were calm, released and open! And the more I grounded down with my right leg, the freer this area became.

 

This got me feeling into my body – and sensing what had taken place, and what energy had shifted.

I felt very vulnerable around my heart space, but to an extent that I was comfortable with, and with the knowledge that I was still protected even though I was open.

I am still unsure what this means in terms of speaking my truth, but I do know that after the practice I felt a lot more secure in me, and a lot more confident in my own ideas and thoughts.  I did not feel shame for who I am, which I think finds its hiding place in my legs and pelvis.

 

In short, I will be working a lot more with this – with grounding down, and claiming my space.

For we are all worthy of love. We all have immense inner strength and courage. And we are all beautiful.

 

Aho!